


Now whole (Epilogue/Spin-off)

by thegoddessofmischief



Series: Two halves become one whole [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Assassins & Hitmen, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Reader-Insert, Suggestive Themes, Teasing, sfw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:28:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29921031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegoddessofmischief/pseuds/thegoddessofmischief
Summary: It's almost a year since Bucky came to join the team and your relationship with the former Winter Soldier has developed into something you only dreamed about. However, your relationship isn't easy, how could it ever be when Bucky battles with his former self every single day.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Series: Two halves become one whole [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2199981
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Now whole (Epilogue/Spin-off)

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter of a two part epilogue/spin-off to my series "Two halves become one whole". It's able to be read as a stand alone fiction, but for the full experience (and help a writer out a bit) check out the main series.

”You’re late”, the moment you saw his big build in the entrance of the training centre you called out to him. 

Bucky raised his head at your voice and not until then did you noticed the frown he sported between his brows. For a second, you felt your own furrow in worry, that was until you saw the phone in his hand. Your expression eased as quickly as it had been visible, although the feeling of something not being right continued to exist. 

You knew that although the brunette, ever since he began to stay at the tower, accustoms himself fairly good to new things. However, a few were always harder to do so with. The phone Tony had designed especially for the team, one the soldier currently held in his hand, was one of those things. Which, without a doubt, could be the cause of his troubled expression. Yet, you possessed more than just a bit of doubt if that actually was the case.

As the almost see-through phone, which had been the object of your stare, made its way into Bucky’s training bag, it naturally made you look up at him again.

”Taking over my phrase doll, ain’t fair”, his low voice tutted towards you, although with a smirk pulling his lips.

”Why so? You’ve used it in the same circumstances”, you replied, your gaze following his movement towards the benches on the right. He didn’t waste more time then it took to place his bag besides yours before walking over to you.

”Well, ’cause I think I have a few more sessions to be late to before catching up to you”, his voice drawled, although it wasn’t the same low and  _ sensual _ one it usually was glazed with. Neither was laziness, something you actually don’t think the soldier owned. However, it sounded  _ tired _ . 

As soon as you'd realised this, your eyes instantly flickered all over Bucky, searching for the signs you’ve learned to look after. 

His chestnut hair wasn’t unkempt, but the half-bun he attempted to do didn’t look as ideal as anyone, especially him, wanted it. You couldn't say he slouched, yet there was something in the way he moved that didn't belong to the facade he seemingly tried to keep up. It was subtle, thus with time, Bucky had learned to stand tall and proud even though, in reality, he didn’t have the strength to do it. Making everyone’s work besides his own that much harder. 

Yet, it was when your gaze met he brunette’s, no amount of pretending could hide whatever was troubling him. His eyes- why you hadn't noticed it initially, you didn't know- they didn't hold the same glint as usual. Instead, they seemed dull. 

”Didn’t sleep well?” You didn’t need his answer when his reaction was enough for you. 

It wasn't that Bucky suddenly halted to your question, thus that he’d done seconds earlier from walking the short distance between you two. Although his smirked dropped, as well did his head. You tried to urge him to meet your eyes, but they simply began to flicker around your face, not stopping on any part of it for longer than seconds. 

”I take that as a yes”, you answered your own question. While doing it, you looked down, shaking your head. You knew Bucky wasn't a proud man per see. But still, in situations like these, it felt like he gripped to it as much as any other man.

It was in small instances like this when you felt his gaze on you, not only heavy from whatever weighed him down and kept him up at night, but also that you  _ realised _ that something actually was troubling him, that the feeling of not being enough crawled up.

You wouldn’t say you get it often, although it would be a lie to say it didn’t occur. You knew that your thoughts were silly, a dream that would count as a miracle. That you could be the person who made Bucky's problems go away. It couldn’t happen because that’s how reality works, but you hoped for him. 

Shaking your head, dismissing your thoughts, you looked up at the brunette once more. Not really having to force a smile as it came by nature whenever you looked at him.

”Well, good for me, seems like I have a chance today”, you said, trying to lighten the mood somewhat, even though you would need to speak to him after your training. 

When Bucky didn't say anything, you simply raised your hand with a smile. A sign that you asked if he could help you up. However, instead of the general point zero seconds that it took for him to take your hand, he hesitated. It was during that hesitation, you saw a flicker in his eyes. You didn't know what it was, but it made him finally grip your hand.

The force of his pull wasn't strong enough that it made you hurl into his chest, as it had done countless times before. Instead, it was enough for you to gently get tugged to your feet.

Standing once more, you attempted to shake the tingling feeling out of your legs for sitting down for too long. While doing so, you tried to let go of Bucky’s hand, yet, he didn't let you. Quizzically, you looked up at him, seeing his smile shining through some of the darkness you saw a few minutes ago in his demeanour.

”You always have a chance”, he murmured, turning your hand and kissing the top of it, before then letting go, leaving you to retract it to your side.

He hadn’t shouted it, but you didn’t think you could have heard it any clearer then you'd done. 

The slight warmth from the place he kissed felt like it spread throughout your body. You tried hiding your shocked expression, as well as your heartbeat coming close to life-threatening, your body heating up as a result of your quickened pulse.

You huffed at his administration, all while rolling your eyes. You didn't believe the soldier bought your try of playing it off, thus though it all had started with you being able to read him, Bucky had become increasingly good at it the last six months, ever since the Stark gala, as your relationship evolved

”Flirt”, the only answer from his side was a wink, telling you he played along in your act. An act that was increasingly hard to maintain as you felt the smile that tugged your lips. Though, before it turned into a full-fledged one, you turned around, walking away a few feet, leaving the middle of the sparring matt. 

”Leaving me already, doll?” Turning around to Bucky’s voice, you saw him standing at the same place as before, smirk visible.

”Not getting rid of me that easy, Barnes”, you said, crossing your arms over your chest, weighing back and forth on your feet. ” _ Although _ I’ll get rid of that smug smirk of yours sooner rather than later”, your teasing earned a laugh from him, one where he closed his eyes and shook his head.

”Don’t be so sure about it”, he almost didn't finish his sentence before he suddenly lunged at you. 

If anyone else then you and Bucky had been in the training centre, you would've made a much bigger scene about justifying yourself for not noticing his attempted  _ and _ succeeded attack while chuckling for yourself. Now though, the only one to witness your lack of grace and loss of dignity was Bucky, who you frankly could live with beholding it.

|| 𝓪 𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝔀𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻 ||

”Do you give up?” Instead of answering, you tried praying your hand out of his grip, something you knew was useless, but your well-known stubbornness did not let that knowledge root. Glancing down, you saw how Bucky had positioned your arms far enough from your body so you wouldn’t be able to twist or turn out of it.

Initially, you'd planned to use your legs to break free from his grip, as his strength overpowered yours by miles. And that was when you didn't even take his metal arm into account. However, those plans dissolved as soon as his lower body anchored yours to the floor as well. 

He was heavy. What else could you expect from someone made out of pure muscle? Therefore his weight alone would  _ almost _ be enough to hold you down, but both you and Bucky knew you would've been able to get out of that somehow. And seeing as the man above you weren't dim, he'd taken that knowledge into account when pinning you to the matt. 

Thus now you were basically unable to move, with not only your arms pinned by his hands but your legs pressed down firmly with the weight of his.

You huffed, not wanting to answer Bucky's initial question while meeting his eyes. The crinkles in the corner of them displayed the grin his whole face held out of amusement witnessing your struggle. Yet, you didn't focus on this. Instead, you observed how the dullness that before was present in his gaze now seemed to have faded somewhat. Still, if you concentrated, you noticed whatever haunted him still lingered in the background.

However, when you felt a light pressure change around your wrists, you felt yourself being pulled out of the depth of his blue-grey hues.

”Oh, don’t be like that. Didn’t you say that you would wipe the smirk off my face and not the other way around?” He chuckled. 

Although his legs touched you in an almost sinful way, which you weren’t sure if he was oblivious to or not, his arms supported his weight, resulting in his chest being high above your own. So when Bucky lowered his face, not his whole upper body as much as you damn well wanted it despite the setting, the strands of hair that had fallen out from his up-do tickled your face. You tried shying away from it, not wanting to break out in a laughing fit during a sparring session.

”Think your hair is nearing midnight Cinderella”, you pointed out as it only felt like more and more strands began tickling your face. Even if you tried not to laugh, you did so when Bucky looked up, trying to locate those strands you talked about.

A frown creased his forehead as he blew one of the particularly annoying ones out of his face, but when it began falling again, it tickled your collarbone. The sound of your hold back laughter made his attention come back to you. 

Instantly seeing your struggle, Bucky smiled and lowered his upper body, consequently putting more of his weight on you but also more of his hair tickling you.

When almost all of the strands of hair touched you, he began moving his head back and forth, making his hair caress your skin. Because you couldn’t shy away from it, neither hide your face behind your hands, your laughter proceeded to fill the otherwise silent training room. 

Laughter was commonly a noise you didn't hear from the training grounds, something Nat remarked when she neared the area. In confusion, one of her eyebrows raised. However, when the redhead was at the entrance, she stopped, seeing what caused it. 

The spy felt how her previous frown ceased to exist, as a soft smile, solely reserved for those close to her, tugged her lips upwards. She leaned against the doorframe, observing you and Bucky sparring, or that was at least what you used to do. 

Nat watched you under the big man’s frame, your face twisted into one of glee as you laughed, while his face contorted in a boyish grin. Although the spy wasn’t as silent as Bucky, neither Steve, you and the first-mentioned soldier was too oblivious and in your own world to notice her.

And at the moment, you really were in your own world, unable to concentrate on anything else then Bucky. Neither could the soldier focus on anything else than you. 

He continued torturing you until you started to chant ' _ I give up, I give up'  _ between fits of laughter. It was only then, when he stopped tickling your face and neck with his hair, that you opened your eyes once more. 

His blue eyes almost seemed like they radiated happiness. Yet, like the ever smug bastard that Bucky Barnes was, a smirk stilled conveyed his lips.

”Well then, it seems like I win. Again”, Bucky proudly announced as he untangles his legs from yours and begun hovering higher above you. This was a fault on his end, seeing as you never officially tapped out.

”Think you’re wrong there,  _ pal _ , you forgot that one time when I took over a losing round magnificently”, you mused, immediately seizing the opportunity he gave you by starting to relax.

As the brunettes face frowned into a puzzled look, one where you practically could see the gears turning in his head, you couldn't fend off your smirk anymore. 

”Think you’re remembering wrong, doll”, he finally settled to say when it seemed he'd raked his memory.

”No, I don’t think so. Don’t you remember…” you didn’t finish your sentence before settling your plan of breaking free into action.

First, you took advantage of the fact that Bucky had taken your legs out of their lock hold, which now made him hover high enough above you so you could move reasonably under him. You bent one of your knees and drew it close and upwards your body. Hence, it wedged itself between your bodies. Although, before the soldier could react by pressing himself closer to you once more, consequently trapping your leg, you drew it high enough to rest against the right side of his chest. 

It was then, when it connected with the place you wanted, you used all the powers you had to elevate yourself from the floor and  _ push _ .

The same hand of his arm you now lifted slightly from the ground released your wrist, thus making at least one of your arms free and movable. It was enough to help your leg push him further away, though not merely up but to the side as well.

Because Bucky hadn't let go of your other wrist, his body didn't land on the side but flipped over, so his back connected with the floor. An ouf let him, more out of surprise than actual pain. Although, it wasn't perhaps only because you'd pushed him off of you, but that the momentum that had caused him to flip caused you to rotate with him as well. Hence, making you kand on top of him. 

It wasn't the most graceful of positions. Thanks to the fact that only one of your legs being used in the act. Your right knee rested beside Bucky's torso. While your opposite leg was stretched along his other side. Hence, making you practically sprawl over him.

The complete surprise was evident in his face as you now had switched places. And even though you guessed he wouldn't continue the sparring match, you could at least end it.

Therefore, you rearranged yourself so that both your knees ended up beside his waist while you planted yourself on it. You knew he didn’t get affected by your weight, but you still felt his muscles flex under you as he shifted. Furthermore, you broke free from the loosened grip on your wrist remaining in his hand and changed, so you now pinned both of his arms down.

Holding his arms over his head, or as far as you could at least without leaving your place on his waist, made you naturally lean forward. This placed your face right above his. 

Albeit staring into his eyes, in your peripheral, you noticed strands of your hair fell around your face, much like they'd done for him moments earlier.

”.. _.that _ _ time _ ”, you ended the sentence you earlier had begun, showing how you had played him from the start. The whistle which Bucky let out following your words just made you chuckle with content.

”Didn’t think you had it in you, Y/N”, he said, to which you feigned a hurt look before he continued. ”But I think I distinctly remember  _ that _ time now”, he chuckled. The next second, he sat up in a swift motion, bringing his arms up with him. You'd known that if he really wanted, the soldier would easily be able to get out of your grip, which he now had proved. 

Now, albeit still holding his wrist, you weren't really the one in control. Especially as his hands came to rest on your hips when you now fully sat  _ in _ his lap.

”You win”, he said and before you even had the slightest chance to react, you felt Bucky quickly lean and peck a kiss on your nose. You couldn't help the giggle escaping you as you ducked your head, shaking it. In the motion, also letting go of his wrists.

”You’re unbelievable”, you murmured under your breath as you felt your heartbeat speed up.

”I could say the same thing about you”, his reply came out as a murmur. You felt the tug in the corner of your lips, but not until you looked up at Bucky, getting greeted by his gorgeous smile, did you stop trying to repress it. It grew wider when you noticed the state his hair had ended up in.

”Hey Rapunzel, it isn’t time to let down your hair just yet”, you chuckled, brushing away the shorter strands of bangs framing his face. He huffed, narrowing his brows.

”Sometimes I just want to cut it”.

”You do not dare”, you gasped, the hand on the side of his fad instinctively taking ahold of his jaw.

”And why so?” He looked at you with playful eyes, which made you unconsciously bite your lip and roll your eyes.

”Because...  _ maybe _ I like it”.

”Any motives to why?” Bucky’s question made you promptly hit his chest with the back of your hand.

”You  _ know _ why!” Your voice raised a pitch, knowing very well that you thought of the same thing.

”Hey lovebirds! Are you done, or should I leave for 20 minutes?” In shock, you jumped up from your place in Bucky’s lap, him following you soon after. As you now stood, you quickly spotted the redhead standing in the entrance to the gym, a smirk painting her lips.

”35 at least, Natasha”, the brunette beside you called out. To which you once again smacked him, now instead, in the ribs. The redhead merely chuckled at the two of you as she began walking into the gym.

”I stand by 20 by how she took you down a minute ago”, she chuckled and made the man beside you stunned while you only tried hiding a chuckle. Bucky turned his attention to you then, pointedly glaring at your poor attempt to hide your amusement.

”Not going to object that one are you?”

”No, not really. If my dear friend complimented me, why should I?” You shrugged. The smile on your lips only growing when he rolled his eyes, mumbling what you barley could decrypt as ' _ women' _ under his breath. 

”So do we have an agreement, 20 minutes, then I can come back?” Nat’s smooth voice made you stop looking at the man who acted like he was offended.

”No, it’s ok Nat, were done”, you said, which actually brung a pout on Bucky’s face.

”What, no reward doll?” Unimpressed, you raised an eyebrow to his request. 

”I’m the one who won. Shouldn’t  _ I _ be the one getting a prize?”

”You can get a prize for winning the last time if I get rewards for  _ all the other _ times”, he took back his cocky demeanour faster then you had expected. That was when you also started hinting at the same drawl you noticed earlier. Something troubled him if his mood shifted like this. From being sweet and teasing with you when alone to more closed up from the moment he knew Nat was there. 

” _ Sure thing, _ big boy”, his smile was hollow. You noticed that now as he offered one to both you and Nat.

”I need to go, great kicking your ass”, he stated, winking at you. You'd thought about the right time to speak with him about whatever seemed to bother him. But as he now walked over and slung his bag over his shoulder, it was too late to take it up. You simply catch up to him later.

”Always a pleasure, asshole”, you called after him as he now wandered towards the exit. 

At the entrance, however, Bucky stopped. He locked his eyes with you, looking like he was about to say something, before seemingly regretting his choice and simply bid goodbye with the shadow of a smile.

You understood that Nat hadn't seen the action, as she was already heading towards you. But you knew that if she had, the same pit of worry as when Bucky first had entered the gym that settled in your stomach, maybe would be present in her's as well, regarding how the spy naturally was good at reading people. 

”Never a dull moment when you’re near”, her words made you avert your eyes from the entrance to the gym to instead watch her.

”Should you say.  _ You _ are the one who makes herself known with an inappropriate joke”, Nat shrugged, though a smirk pulled the side of her lip up.

”Ain’t that inappropriate if you see with how much passion he looks at you”, you swiftly gave her a pointed glare, to which she raised her hands. 

” _ But _ defending what I said. It’s never a dull moment for  _ him _ when you’re near. He basks in it”, you huffed at what the spy said, although with a smile present.

”You make it sound like I’m a ray of sunshine”, you could laugh at the imagery.

”Well, you aren’t far from it, at least not for him”, you couldn’t believe it. Despite clearing the darkness that clung to his back he'd an hour prior, you'd seen it creep straight back when he now had left. A ray of sunshine? You could only hope you were, but not  _ belive _ .


End file.
